11.12.2006

trust issues?

house meeting.

tonight i told one roommate that i wasn't totally comfortable with the idea of her boyfriend living here for part of december. somehow she was surprised by this after telling me that this guy has anger issues and she thinks he might be abusive. they are always chaotic, breaking up and getting back together. i don't want this guy in my house at all, i don't want to live with a couple like that, even short term, and i certainly don't want him here by himself.

it is not easy to say these things directly to a person with everyone listening, but i suppose it is better that way.

i also had a rather direct argument with roommate-i-don't-like (RIDL?) about whether we should have a housesitter at xmas. my point was that our house got robbed when seven of us were actively living here. i am not sure it's really going to add any security at all to have one housesitter who we don't even all know. "what is the basis of your fear? what are you afraid is going to happen?" he asked, which made me want to spit. i don't have a list of fears, it's not like that. i am just uncomfortable with someone who is a stranger to me living in my house when nobody is here to host that person. i just don't like it. "but we do know the person." no, maybe YOU know the person, but i don't. and i know you all to varying degrees, and to be totally honest, i trust you all to varying degrees. said i.

i just don't think "living in community" has to mean lack of boundaries and automatic trust of all my roommates and of everyone that they know. but apparently i am in the minority on this point. i felt like everyone was secretly judging me for not being a good little co-operative dweller.

i feel unpopular and bummed.