he said i am more serious

found myself in a conversation today that seemed to be at a level of depth unwarranted by the friendship. saying things that felt like revealing too much. i am in almost every respect a very open person, very comfortable being who i am, making that known. but in this conversation i was feeling nervous and threatened..by the subject matter, not by the person. and then i found myself saying that, describing that feeling.

there is a way that people sometimes try to forge closeness before its time. they do this by revealing secrets, discussing difficult sad or painful things, by exposing soft parts of themselves. today i found myself exposing my soft parts without really intending to. i wasn't into it at all.

the flight back didn't go well and i was really late getting in and getting home from sfo was torturous and it was past 3a when i finally crawled into bed and then i had to get up this morning for work and the thing about this working fulltime deal is that they expect you to be there ALL DAY. so demanding.

do you ever get so exhausted that you just want to throw a tantrum?
'cause i do.