the captain lied

i feel a bout of despondence coming on. i won't blame the leonard cohen documentary, either, because if anything it alleviated the press. just sometimes it seems like no matter how much you care and struggle...the meaning all sinks back into the noise eventually. the signal gets lost.

inaccessibility.
i'm just speaking generally, don't read too much into this.
grade inflation.
"apple care" doesn't.

leonard cohen says i'm dead and you're dead and we're just acting out the drama but the end is already written. it could sound hopeless but the way his eyes contain perfect calm and the corners of his mouth are always twitching toward a smile makes it a blessing.

he also says to live as if you are real, and i wonder how he reconciles these points of view.