declaration

i am drunk and tomorrow i have what some people insist is a date.
i am more comfortable with the label 'hang-out'.
how about if we agree on 'proto-date'? it's so much nicer than 'pseudo-date'.

if i ever have another proto-date i am totally hanging out with c the night before it because 1. i will drink a lot of really amazing wine, and 2. she will say things that make this sound like a downright good idea. c is good like that.

it's weird because my best friends are people i've met in the last few years, and in the last few years i have been somewhat different than i think i usually am. for a long time i suffered. and when you suffer, you learn to surrender without a fight. i learned deep kindness and i also learned to retreat. but i'm not about retreat, i was not before and i will not be now. not anymore.

i think my fight is coming back.
i am leo. hear me fucking roar.