i am highly jittery today. an unusual state for me.

who do i want to be who do i want to be

the pending-ness of school
the insignificance of work
not knowing if good was good enough

and the undercurrent: i don't think i can do all that again
the process is too corrosive
i can't do it again, it has to be this time

and the always interestitial wondering:
who will i be next?

(this seems to validate my therapist's observation that i confuse what i DO with who i AM. i am aware that they are not the same thing, but how does one find the boundary in a life largely defined by progress towards a goal?)