my grand day out

today was one of the great days.
one of the handful of single pinpoint days you remember from any given month or year.

i should have gotten up early to study for my last final but i didn't. it just seemed so much nicer to sleep in so i did. and slept and slept and eventually got up and it was david's birthday so i wrote him an email and i felt fine about that, and in fact i felt not very much about it at all.

later i tried to do an errand and then get to campus early to study but...then really didn't feel like it. instead i felt like having a bagel and some coffee. so i did. got to the test about 1/2 hour early and believe you me, it was the most productive 1/2 hour of studying i've ever done. and i think i did pretty well but somehow i just didn't care all that much. i just had this feeling that it would be fine so i relaxed and this weird zen memory thing happened. "be the spectrogram" or something like that.

and so ended my semester; not with a bang or a whimper but with a sigh of relief.

afterwards i thought i should go christmas shopping but i didn't feel like it, so instead i went home and watched some tv and read a book and waited for dinnertime because karen said she wanted to take me out to dinner to celebrate the end of my semester and so i was just waiting for dinner with karen.

and when karen and i got to the restaurant and went upstairs there was this big table full of people i knew and i felt disoriented for a minute because there they were, all these people i love and i just wanted to laugh and cry and laugh and dance a little happy dance which i didn't do but on the inside? i was dancing. and they even tracked down my favorite school friend will and so he was there and it was weird and wonderful and MY GOD. i thought...how can i ever be unhappy or dissatisfied in a life where i have this. it wouldn't even make sense.

so i've been dreading today for a long time, and it turned out to be beautiful.