sprinklers. or, alternately: pee-s.a.

what's with those girls who think it's fine to hover while peeing, then walk out of the stall leaving their urine generously sprinkled about the seat?

i mean if you can't bear to rest your rarefied ass directly upon the seat and can't be bothered with a seat cover, then at LEAST can't you do a quick wipedown before you flush? other people have to use that seat after you and although conceptually i realize that urine is sterile and blahblahblah, that doesn't mean i want to clean yours up.

so the girl in front of me in the vlsb bathroom did this today and when i am the despotic ruler of my own island-state, all girls' bathroom toilets will come equipped with a special alarm where if you walk out of the stall with your pee all over the seat then a siren will blare and lights will flash and a richie rich style contraption will come down from the ceiling and attach a huge fluourescent yellow "S" (for sprinkler, of course) to your shirt or maybe your forehead, and for the rest of the day everyone will know what you did.