a bedtime story

so this woman i know through a family friend, she used to teach at this fancy college back east for a long time and then she quit her job and moved to berkeley to work for a buddhist center. she worked there six, seven days a week, all on a volunteer basis. read: NO FISCAL COMPENSATION.

she's really nice and okay maybe seems a little tense now and then but i had no idea. last night i found out that she's way too nutty even for berkeley buddhists and here's how it played out:

first they tried to talk to her about the problems they were having with her. i'm not even sure exactly what, something about micromanaging, stressful energy, control freaky stuff. (remember that she is a volunteer. she teaches stress management classes.)

then they started calling her husband at work all the time saying "what do we do about xxxx?" he was all uh, i dunno. i can't do anything with her either.

then they had a brilliant idea...we'll get her out of town for awhile. then she can't bother us. so some director type decided he needed some super rare vintage bottle of wine that was only available in the nether regions of british columbia. so this lady agrees to go get the stuff, the buddhists of course are paying for her trip.

but she thwarts them! she flies the redeye friday night, makes the drive to the remote location and back on saturday/saturday night, and flies home sunday. just in time for work monday morning!

then they sent her some other places, i can't remember exactly.

but now, this is the best. she has been in BRAZIL. for NEARLY THREE MONTHS. on the buddhists' dime. staying in some posh 'hood with a bunch of expats i'm sure. the brazillionaires. and she's not even doing anything there, she's just on vacation. to destress.

to destress from her job as a volunteer at the BUDDHIST CENTER.
she comes back in a week or so.

a plan is forming though:
1. volunteer at buddhist center
2. become sort of crazy
3. collect three month all-expense-paid trip to brazil

genius.