student life

in two weeks i have to give an hour-long talk on a research project that i barely have my brain around. i don't even have a solid first draft of the paper. between now and then i have to turn in another paper, write a short abstract for the january conference, draft my fellowship essays, go on a three-day fieldwork trip, and move house.

please send drugs.
stimulants preferred.

people keep saying i'm ahead of the game but the truth is that i haven't even figured out the rules yet. but i think there's a personality type, maybe a somewhat perfectionistic or obsessive type, that always feels like they have everyone fooled into thinking that they know what they're talking about. it's called impostor syndrome, and it has a wikipedia page so you know it must be real.

there was this really awful talk on it at the institute this summer that devolved into basically a group therapy session that made me want to stick a fork in my eye. one girl: "oh sociolinguists are so inTIMidated by syntactians!" some guy: "no, no, we're intimidated by YOU!" (actually...no, we aren't. syntacticians accept that we are a superior life form.)

anyway, i think i definitely have a touch of the impostor syndrome, but i am trying to just ignore that part of myself 'cause it doesn't seem to get me anywhere and i think it's just a little more self-indulgent than i want to be.

(...she says, wrapping up another introspective blog post.)

ps. it's almost time for NaBloPoMo again. can you handle the truth?