daydreaming, diffuse

in oregon again for fieldwork until 8/7.
it's. hard. this time.
sometimes i wish i were tougher.

while i am here i am trying to impose a soothing regularity on my daily routine. sleep 11-7, then go for a walk. coffee and breakfast, work on my own stuff for a little while, then start the day's work with V. i intend to get more of my own work done in the evenings but it is so hot, oven hot in this baking little house that was once a garage, brain melting hot. it's just so hard to work. so i end up killing time on the internet, talking on the phone, rattling around like loose change.

i wear a ring and carry a stone (with a sharp poky point like the tail of a comma) in my pocket, talisman-like.

i think about what it would have been like to have a conversation with me six years ago.
i think about transformations.

i remind myself of what matters.