spring forward

last week was the worst i've had this year. it left me unable to imagine doing this for four more years. the sad thing is, it wasn't even the work, it was more just the grindingly corrosive schedule and some really depressing social aspects of ... what? this program? grad school in general? i don't know.

i guess because my real friends are awesome and warm and funny and accepting and grounded i maybe forget that there are just crappy mean people around me too. and i get in these situations and i think how sad it is that some of the brightest students in my field can't come up with anything better to talk about than who is fat or ugly or stupid or has b.o. and it gets so much meaner than i could possibly reproduce here.

and you have to wonder, when you walk out the door, what they are saying about you. especially if you are the kind of person who says "uh actually i really like that person you're insulting right now."

so this weekend i took my first day off in two months, i had a pedicure and was treated to brunch at citron. had good talks and napped and cleaned my room and ate dinner with my roommate. today was almost 80 and sunny in oaktown, in the morning i went hiking by myself in tilden. let the fucked up shit finish melting out of my head.