nothing stays

when i moved into this place i was trying to make a girl happy. it didn't work out but then here i was, and here david was. and that didn't work out either but we spent so many days and nights here that this place will always feel a little like him. a little like us. him behind me with his arms around me while i was stirring something on the stove. pushing me back against the armoire. drunkenly crawling into my bedroom. brushing his teeth in a steamy bathroom with my towel wrapped around his waist. david playing my guitar in my livingroom for hours and dark hours. mostly i remember sitting on the couch with his head in my lap, just memorizing his face. now i'm past feeling sad about leaving all that behind. the dust of our relationship will stay here and i'll inhabit somewhere with new air.

it smells like cardboard in here.