what i want to ask

the screening process becomes more involved as you become more experienced. the shadow of deep hurt is indelible and this plays into it as well. there is a lot to be said for savoring the getting-to-know process, but it is hard to do that when you're up against uncertainty. it is hard to be slow and to let things unfold as they will. and yet there's no other choice, really...

things i would like to ask him.
premature questions about something that doesn't exist yet, and may never.
(places i don't want to go again.)

1. are you an alcoholic?
2. are you mean?
3. will you resist this?
4. will you take more than you give?
5. will you give more than i want?
6. will you make your happiness my responsibility?
7. will you hurt me?
8. will you fear me?
9. will you tire of me?

10. what is it? and what will it be?