tales from the im log

the background is that awhile ago i was commenting that there are some weird things about being bisexual. like first of all, everyone wants to put you in a box like if you're dating a girl you're gay or if you're dating a boy you're straight, and you just switch back and forth between these two modes. or someone actually said to me recently that there are no bisexual people; they're just gay people who can't admit they're gay. or people tell me i'm both gay *and* straight but that seems to miss the point also. i think i'm neither one of those things.

labels aside, there is some internal stuff that comes up from time to time. like when i started going out with david the sex thing was weird the first time 'cause i'd been only with girls for awhile. and then lately/since him i haven't been attracted to girls much at all. and i get stressed about that a little, like am i just letting society tell me what i should be? and i forget "everything is fluid" and i just worry 'cause that's what i do. i worry.

anyway i was talking about all this and cj asked if i have any other friends who identify as bisexual and i really don't. most of my friends are straight, a couple are gay. and they're totally cool and openminded and i can talk to them about anything...but it isn't quite the same.

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me: omg i'm so excited that xxxx is bisexual
me: i want to talk to her about it
h: heh. xxxx! i hear you like girls! i mean, i like girls! can we be friends? boobies.
me: hahaha
me: hooray for boobies
me: how did you find out?
h: we had like 2.5 hours of downtime yesterday
h: so we were talking, she asked about the fact that i'd been married. i mentioned xxxxx. we talked about relationships that aren't good for us
h: she mentioned xxxxxxxxx
me: oh
me: did you say "amy wants a bisexual friend!"
me: ?
h: totally . i was like Omg. you know amy? she used to date a girl who worked here and she was always sad that she didn't know other bi girls. be her friend, or i'll cut you
me: awww yr the best