safeway breakfast

so yeah i've been sick this week and instead of going to the healthy hippie grocery store and market that i usually go to, i've gone to safeway twice. safeway has things like nyquil, reese's peanut butter balls cereal, and huuuuuge packages of frozen fish sticks. disgusting, i know, i know. one night i thought it would be so great if i could just eat baked frozen fish sticks and microwaved pre-prepared country crock mashed potatoes for dinner. if anything made me feel worse this week, i think it was that.

all of this has caused me to add a rule to the safeway list.
rule 2: never go to safeway with a 102 fever.

(the first rule is never go to safeway drunk after a mountain goats show. though i have to say, the dinner party the next day where heather served food off the cartooney animal head shaped paper plates that i talked her into the night before...that was pretty great. so perhaps rule 1 is still arguable.)

which brings me to this morning's breakfast: quaker instant oatmeal, strawberries & cream flavor. now...i wouldn't say that in the store i actually MISSED where it says "artifically flavored fruit pieces & non-dairy creamer" right under the huge-font "strawberries and cream" designation, in fact i did notice it. but my friends, i was in denial. i was in denial brought on by fever and the endless feeling of breathing through lungs full of wet gravel and the blissful promise of warm soft creamy strawberry deliciousness.

you guys, there are no strawberries in there! there are little rubbery dry red fruityesque bits, but they are not strawberries, that was immediately obvious. in fact...the more i ate them...the more i thought, hey, these are a LOT like those unsugared unsulphured dried apple rings that i get in bulk from the hippie grocery store.

omg, look at the ingredients, they totally use dried apple pieces (with nasty flavoring, color, and preservatives) to simulate strawberries. and their "creaming agent" is hydrogenated oil and more chemicals...ugh, i can't believe i ate that.

the weird thing is it's actually not that bad. i remembered from when i was a kid that the way i like instant oatmeal is that you get the tap water as hot as it will go and put that in, stir it up, and suck it down. no microwave involved, the microwave just makes it gummy.

come to think of it, all this typing has made me hungry. i think i'll go have another bowl of dried apples with chemicals and creaming agent. i'm recovering from the bird flu, after all, i deserve a little slack. maybe i'll wash it down with some baked frozen fish sticks.

anyone want to join me? i've got plenty to go around.