oh evil alcohol

come get a drink with us, they said.
wait...i really wanted to get this build working tonight.
get a life, he said. come to the pub with us.

well, okay.

i haven't been drinking lately. i haven't eaten dinner. one chimay later i was laughing and laughing and everything looked a bit glowy and i was feeling pretty damn good. out drinking with five guys from work and one of them is the totally hot coworker i've been background crushing on for months. so the chimay and then one had to leave to go meet friends at another bar and come with us they said. come get another drink with us.

ohgod.
no, no i really can't do that.

they got in a cab bound for the lower haight and these guys standing on the corner said "what, they're leaving you? can we come with you? do you live here? are you single?" ugh, no you can't come with me i said. walked to bart and rode home visualizing skin and mouths and heat, biting the hot coworker where shoulder curves into neck. just biting a little. just melting a little and wishing i were out drinking with them but of course i know better.

so i'm home, hungry and i have no food.
hungry and i have no boy.
the ex would be here in two seconds but that way lies madness.
that way lies sadness.
so i won't.

well. i do have bourbon and poetry and music to get fucked up by.
i haven't been walking to my nighttime spot in awhile.
i have cigarettes and beer and a bad attitute.

hello, darkside. glad you decided to stick around for awhile.