stretch me to the point where i stop

the quest for balance continues, but i think in the short term the quest for the multi-year fellowship must trump. it's only another month, i tell myself, but my self answers "i am tired and i miss my friends." i chose the big-picture-this, and i love it, but that doesn't mean that in the small moments, nested three levels deep, i wouldn't a billion times rather be going out dancing, or to sushi, or hiking, or anything.

it will be better after this semester.

one weird thing about my grad school experience is that suddenly the expectations imposed from around me are about equal to those i impose upon myself. sometimes even more. i suppose this is what catalyzes growth.

often i feel floating and i wish someone were near enough to understand what my life is, now.