the syntax and semantics of inversion

sometimes i disturb myself a little. i haven't always been this way, but ever since i fell in love with linguistics i can get a little...ferocious. like how they say a pit bull's jaws have a locking mechanism and once it's got its prey it is physically unable to let go. i think that is a myth but as a metaphor it is spot on. i see something i want and i focus on it nearly to the exclusion of all else, and woe betide those who would stand between me and it. i'm like that with my fellowship applications right now. i wonder if the professor who today gave me some suggestions knew just how seriously i would take them.

i'm starting to look at it and say "woah. that's good." it's the feeling i've been waiting for.

but sometimes when it's late and all my psyche knows is sheer exhaustion and mute focus and i've been writing for hours, i hate the work for making me do this. sometimes i feel like it's destroying me. sometimes i disturb myself a little.